Even when you play poker.

Manners for a game at home are a little more relaxed, but still apply.

Here are five rules of etiquette for you and your poker playing friends.

Be polite and have fun!

1. Food and drinks will most likely be served. Please be courteous and don’t make a mess – especially on the felt-covered playing table. It’s no fun to play on a soiled table.

2. When making a bet, never splash the pot. It makes it difficult to keep track of who bet what if everyone just tosses in their chips.

3. Discard chips and cards to the side, making it easier for the dealer to dispense fresh cards for the next hand.

4. Keep chatter to a minimum while playing. Your fellow players may need a bit of silence to determine their next move.

5. Leave the sunglasses at home – especially at night. This is not the World Series of Poker.

In these times of downsizing and a worrisome economy, everyone has to bring their A-Game to the workplace.

Here are some signs that you might be on shaky ground in the office.

Your co-workers are avoiding you

If your co-workers can’t look you in the eye, lower their voices when you enter the room, or seem to be whispering while exchanging glances at you, chances are they know you’re on the chopping block. You can be even more certain of your impending doom if you realize that you’re no longer as connected as you once were, no longer in the know of important meetings or brainstorming sessions or invited to lunches with the big names in the company. You may keep to yourself at times, but being alienated by your colleagues in the work place, especially if you once kept abreast of the social life there, is often a sign that they know something you don’t. They may be avoiding you such that they don’t have to face any potentially awkward questions that they get from you when you realize something is fishy.

You’re stripped of responsibilities

If you find that you’re losing control in any areas that you previously had control, this could be a bad sign. Particularly if a new hire or intern starts to assume some of your responsibilities, you may be in the process of being replaced even while you still work for the company. If your load is lightened by a higher-up, this is generally not because you’ve done so well that you deserve a break, but rather that your boss has lost faith in your ability to accomplish the task. Be able to identify when your boss is giving you busy work because he no longer trusts you as a major asset.

Your company is merging or downsizing

If they decide they need to trim the fat, you may be on the list of cuts. This could happen regardless of your level in the firm. You may be able to save yourself by proving yourself an asset to the team when the new CEO steps in, but it’s best to be preparing yourself for the worst anyway and to start looking for a new job. The advantage to this scenario is that it will come as less of a surprise — you will be aware of any major changes within the company and this gives you the opportunity to start shopping around elsewhere for new work.

You see a job ad matching your job description

If you’re browsing the jobs section of the newspaper or Craigslist and you see a job description that matches your own in a verbatim way, you may be reasonable in your fear that it is, in fact, your job on the listing. It may sound underhanded to you, but your company may need to have someone waiting in the wings before they can outright fire you. They can do this by putting out the bait for new blood before you even have time to realize the situation, blindsiding you. In some cases, they may even have you training your own replacement right under your nose.

Your manager’s attitude changes toward you

If your manager has suddenly become cold toward you, you should be concerned. A sudden change in attitude could reflect the quality of your work in their eyes. Sure, there are times when your supervisor is having a bad day and projects a bit on others in the office, but if the icy disposition continues, there is something unquestionably wrong with your performance in the company. Be on the lookout for criticism sent in the form of email or writing as opposed to in person, as this can be a sign that your employer is trying to create a paper trail of your wrongdoings in the company. If you feel like your boss has suddenly taken to nagging you or micromanaging you, they may be digging for something to pin on you when they ask you to leave.

You’ve made a huge mistake

Whether you’ve accidentally shared confidential material or shredded important documents, you probably know if you’ve done something unforgivable. Everyone makes mistakes, but there are certain mistakes that your company likely can’t overlook, and these will result in your termination. In this case, the best thing to do may be to count your losses and keep an eye out for another job. To try to recover from a serious mistake, it’s best to ‘fess up to it immediately. Your boss may admire that you were at least willing to take responsibility and may be a little more lenient. However, if you survive a critical error, you’ll be walking on eggshells for a while; another infraction could be your ticket to unemployment when in combination with your previous mistake.

Despite television shows like Revenge and the countless reality tv shows – we all know that is just dramatic, extreme behavior, don’t we?

And yet, just a tiny oversight on your part might hurt someone’s feelings.

How can we prevent that?

1. Spell names correctly. This happens all the time and could be avoided by just paying attention. My name is Patti. It is not Patty, Pattie, Pattey or Pat. Simple, right?

2. Return phone calls within 48 hours. The norm is usually 24 hours, but I understand everyone is busy. Return calls within 2 days.

3. RSVP promptly. I cannot stress this enough. Do not wait for a better invitation. Doing so might just get you kicked off the guest list permanently. Allow your hosts to plan for a perfect time for you by letting them know whether or not you are attending. If you don’t, you cannot be upset when no one responds to the invitation to your next gala.

3. Send thank you notes out in a timely manner. Did a friend have you over for dinner? Send out that thank you note the next morning. Always keep a stash of note cards and stamps on your desk. I have had people tell me they were totally put out when they had to mail something because they had to go out and buy stamps? What? Is this your only inconvenience in life? Then you have it pretty good, my friend. Did you know that you can purchase a book of stamps from the cashier at the grocery store or online from USPS? Yes, sir. Now you have no excuse.

4. Be on time. Really. I live in Atlanta where traffic can be murderific. But with careful planning, there are very few times you need to be late. Being late tells the people waiting for you that your time is more important than theirs. You would never feel that way, would you?

12. Etiquette Evolves ~ Keep pace with the most modern take on manners. Read The Etiquette Book: A Complete Guide to Modern Manners, keep it for yourself or give it as a gift! Completely complimentary ways to maintain your politeness quotient can also be found by following Mannersmith or Dazzling Manners on Facebook or Twitter.

There you have it – 12 ways to improve in 2012. One for each month.

Thank you, Jodi!

9. Give Things ~ Clean out your closets and the corners of your home. Be brutal. If you have not worn or used it in a year, move it along. Be sure to donate usable goods to area organizations.

10. Give Time ~ Choose a “thon” or “day” and participate to support charitable groups. Select a charity that is meaningful to you and show you care.

11. Give Money ~ Put your money where your heart is and give back. You need not wait until you are a millionaire to be a philanthropist. Start now.

6. Positive Peer Pressure ~ Join a professional organization or register for an upcoming event and attend with a pocketful of business cards. Get engaged in your career and build your professional networks.

7. Suit Up ~ Even if every day is casual day in your workplace, as an adult, you should have at least one current, fashionable suit which fits. If the media comes a-calling or a recruiter contacts you with your ideal job, you need to be ready.

8. Expand Your Horizons ~ Acquire knowledge of something new. Whether it is a master level class or a lunch & learn session, identify an area in need of education and improve your knowledge base.

Personally Polite
Professionally Polite
Philanthropically Polite
Educationally Polite

Personally Polite

1. RSVP to invitations ASAP ~ Make it your stated goal to respond to invitations within 24 hours of receipt. Be honest, as you likely know already if you will be able to attend or not. Just tell the host.

2. Reciprocate a Kindness ~ Did someone take you out to dinner, give you an unexpected gift or do you a favor? If so, return the thought. It need not be exactly the same, as long as it is from the heart.

3. Acknowledge Immediately ~ Remember to write thank you notes within a week. After all, the sooner the shorter, the later the longer. If you are having a hard time getting started, visit the Mannersmith Thank You Note Wizard for some help.

4. Use or Lose ~ Pick three friends (or your grandchildren!) and schedule a dinner at a restaurant where you will need to use your table manners. You know, a venue with tablecloths and real utensils! Enjoy a life of leisure, even if it is only for an hour or two.

5. Master Your Mobile ~ Try turning off your phone and tuning in to life. Give the gift of your full attention to those with whom you are interacting. Yes, you may have some withdrawal symptoms, such as twitchy thumbs, but the emotional benefits are well worth it.

Does the thought of giving a toast strike fear in your heart? Lets fix that, shall we?

Cheers!

When to give a toast:

1. You are the best man at the wedding
2. You are the groom at the wedding
3. You are throwing a dinner in someone’s honor
4. Retirement parties
5. Countless other events

How to give a toast:

1. Keep it short and sweet. Maybe tell a funny anecdote that will not embarrass the honoree. Compliment them, but make sure it’s a sincere complement. Say congratulations (but never congratulate a bride – always “best wishes” to the bride). Wish them well.

2. Stand and hold your glass waist high while delivering the toast

3. End it by using an appropriate phrase – Cheers, Skoal, To Your Health, To Your Happiness are all good.

4. Raise your glass to eye level and always finish your toast by making eye contact with the honoree.

I have a suggestion. During your time together, turn off your phone. Make that person the focal point of your visit.

Picking up a call or texting someone during your meeting will not make you look important. It will only make the other person feel less important. And that is never your intention, is it?

Just try it. Once. You will not believe the impact it will have.

Trust me on this one.

Don't be these people.

In the past year or so, at least 4 friends from Atlanta have moved to Shanghai and have informed me of how different it is from Western culture.

We could learn quite a bit from our friends in the East. This article is from MSNBC.com.

The wonder of China.

1. Banquets
You don’t have to eat everything (you can’t possibly anyway, there will be too much food). But try a little of every dish by putting some on your plate or rice bowl. You don’t have to eat it, but as foreign guest, you’re supposed to be served first. If you don’t try something, your host will be embarrassed—and most likely, will put it on your plate for you.

2. Bargaining
Open air markets, privately run stores are best for bargaining. (Large department stores have set prices.) Remember to establish a friendly rapport first. You are creating a relationship with the merchant, not a price war. Think of it this way: Bargaining is to the Chinese what seduction is to the French. Shouting, arguing, and pointing are not very seductive. Smiling, being friendly, offering to buy more for a better price are. And don’t be afraid to ask, “Can you offer me a better price?”

3. Cars
Never, ever assume pedestrians have the right of way. Cars will not necessarily stop for you. Cross with a group if possible at a designated crosswalk. A car won’t stop for a single person necessarily but will stop for a group because the driver doesn’t want the car to be dented. Chinese really love their cars.

4. Chopsticks
Don’t point with them at other people’s faces. Don’t stab your food with them like toothpicks. Don’t lick them. And by all means don’t stick them upright in your rice bowl—that’s how the Chinese honor the dead at graves.

5. Face
Never shout even when someone has done something wrong. Losing your temper will only make the other person feel that he or she has lost face (i.e. dignity) and will often cause that person to refuse to take responsibility for a problem . Best to smile, keep friendly, and persistently ask the person to *help you* solve whatever problem has arisen.

6. Male-female relationships
Alas, the image of the loose American woman perpetuated by Hollywood movies is alive and well globally including in China. If a man makes unwanted advances to you, say loudly the Chinese word for “No,” (bu) which is pronounced like the English word “Boo!” If you say it forcefully, it will be in the correct tone. If you are a man, don’t be touchy-feely with Chinese women lest they think you are propositioning them.

7. Public displays of affection
While younger Chinese can be as openly demonstrative as Westerners, if not more so, older Chinese are not used to PDAs. Be aware of your surroundings. Around older Chinese anything more than holding hands with your partner or a quick peck on the check might embarrass people.

8. Respect for elders
It’s fine to open doors and give up a seat to an older person of either gender. And don’t be offended if younger Chinese—male or female—offer you an arm going up stairs or other assistance if you are older. They don’t think you’re infirm. They’re just trying to be polite.

9. Smiling
Chinese smile for more reasons than Americans. A smile can mean the person is embarrassed, trying to be helpful, curious, happy or friendly. In the middle of an argument, smiling means that the speaker doesn’t want this to become personal. When all else fails, smile in China. It shows you have no ill intentions and can work wonders in getting better service.

10. Tipping
If you plan to return to a restaurant, then tip. Guidebooks say not to, but in fact most Chinese know enough about the Western world to know that tipping is practiced regularly in other countries. Tips are rarely (in our experience, never) refused and create goodwill.